Circa Bellum: Lance Armstrong Frightens Children and Wildlife

Well, I don't really have any proof about children, but...

I suppose it's just that time of year. It started several weeks ago when I noticed a thumping noise coming from the kitchen. Investigating, I found a young robin slamming himself into the back door, over and over and over again. Which is kind of funny to watch.

He apparently sees his reflection and considers it to be viable competition for the ladies.

And I don't mind birds and animals kind of doing their thing around here as long as it doesn't interfere with my lifestyle too much, so I figured I could wait him out until he tired of it and finally got him some sweet bird loving to calm him down.

I didn't even mind the streaky marks he's leaving all over the windows so much.

But the problem I've got now, since it's going on for weeks on end is that he sits on the railing and poops in between bouts with the phantom rival.

Which we just can't continue to abide.

He's even taken to bringing a friend along to watch him slam into the window. I don't know if the friend poops on the railing or not, but I'm ready to put a stop to it.

I noticed that when I walk up to the window, they fly away and the thumping stops for a while. Then it starts back up in a bit and continues until I walk in again. This goes on pretty much all day.

So this morning, I see this ad in Newsweek Magazine, "Put on Your Lance Face." It has a big ole, nearly lifesize head of Lance Armstrong.

I tore out the page, taped it to the inside of the window, looking out, and voila!