My friend, Sandy posted about smoking and how you should mind your own business when it comes to that subject. And she's right.
I smoked cigarettes for more than 37 years of my life. They were my best friends. They were there for me when I was hungry. They were there for me when I was tired. They helped me out when I was angry, depressed, abused, amused, bored and even elated. They never let me down.
When my son got suspended from school in the seventh grade for having a cigarette lighter, I asked him why the hell he had to take a lighter to school. And he told me that there was no way he could go all day without smoking a cigarette. That he would not and could not make it.
He told me that for years he had begged me not to smoke. And for years he smelled it and choked on it. And that now he was smoking himself, I didn't have much room to talk about it. In a way, he was right.
I quit smoking that day. And, I did it the hard way. I had half a pack in my pocket and half a carton on top of the refrigerator. After two days, I gave the half pack to a fellow smoker. Two weeks later I gave him the rest of the carton.
After all those years, there's still probably a price I'll have to pay, but I hope not.
One of my co-workers was diagnosed last week with acute lung disease. At least 40% loss of lung capacity. They want to put her on oxygen. She's refusing the treatment. "Pray for me," she says. And she keeps smoking.
My little bride still smokes. The smell doesn't bother me, but when she laughs, she's starting to get that smoker's edge. That little old lady that smoked for 50 years sound. And my wife's voice has always been so pretty. So melodic. It's beginning to change. I can hear it in the laugh.
God, that's going to be the one thing I'll really miss. Her beautiful voice. Her beautiful voice...
Saturday, July 01, 2006
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