Some of you have been anxious to know, since the report from our correspondent in Long Beach last week, how things have shaken out between Dan the Weiner Dog and Hamster Stan.
Sadly we must report, Hamster Stan is no more. Dan the Weiner Dog, tired of being ignored whilst staring death daggers into the cage, apparently ate Hamster Stan and ground his bones with his somewhat powerful teeth. As powerful as a Weiner Dog can muster, anyway.
After cleaning up the mess, we sent Dan the Weiner Dog to his bed to lick his butt and ruminate over his transgressions. He won't be allowed out until he is sufficiently sorry.