Daily Ride

You know, it’s funny when I blog about my son and his car, the guys are all maximum performance and go boy and then Sandy is just, “well, how is the ride to work every morning."

And, in usual guy fashion, you can just snort about the guy’s comments and go, “if you only knew, bro, if you only knew,” scratch your ass and go about your business. But Sandy’s comment…well that just has to be addressed.

Typical ride to work conversation:

Boy: “I been over at Nick’s the last couple nights and he’s getting his car painted.”

(To fill you in, Nick came by last week and had bought about $3000.00 worth of spray primer at Wal Mart and had “primed” his car. Pretty much everything except a small area of the windshield for him to look out of. His mother, horrified, told him she would pay to have the car professionally painted if he would promise not to try that shit anymore.)

Me: “That’s cool.”

Boy: “Yeah the dude came over to his house and sanded all of the crap he sprayed on it off, then coated it with primer. It’s looking pretty good. Nick said he’s only having to pay for the materials and that the dude is painting it for free. I told him he could paint my car too and I’d buy the materials and he said he wanted $900.00 plus materials to paint my car, so I said ‘go find someone else to pay you $900.00, and paint their car, dude.”

Me: “Maybe you should make friends with somebody that knows how to paint cars…”

Boy: “Anyway they’re going to put this paint on there that has to cure for 9 days…”

Me: “Can’t wax it until it cures?”

Boy: “No, he can’t even drive it. It has to stay locked up in the garage for nine days until it cures…”

Me: “Damn! What kind of paint is that?”

Boy: “ I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know, it’s some kind of paint. Why are you asking me all this?”

Me: “Dang, ‘Mr. I know everything about cars’ and he doesn’t know what this fancy ass paint is that takes nine days to cure?”

Boy: “LOOK!, I know about ENGINES, and TRANSMISSIONS, and BOOSTERS and TURBO CHARGERS, but I DON’T know about paint. ALL RIGHT?”

Me: “Just trying to make conversation. That’s all.”

Car Update

Son1, being unable to accomplish job findament on his own, is now working at my company, therefore able to ride to work with me and back every day. If he can drag his lazy butt out of bed.

He got his first paycheck last Friday (covering all of two days) and is projecting he will be able to buy an engine for his car in six weeks.

Well, if he doesn't binge and spend all his money on pot and loose women before then...

Hamster Stan

Some of you have been anxious to know, since the report from our correspondent in Long Beach last week, how things have shaken out between Dan the Weiner Dog and Hamster Stan.

Sadly we must report, Hamster Stan is no more. Dan the Weiner Dog, tired of being ignored whilst staring death daggers into the cage, apparently ate Hamster Stan and ground his bones with his somewhat powerful teeth. As powerful as a Weiner Dog can muster, anyway.

After cleaning up the mess, we sent Dan the Weiner Dog to his bed to lick his butt and ruminate over his transgressions. He won't be allowed out until he is sufficiently sorry.

Dream Car

Son1, who is sixteen, bought the car of his dreams yesterday.

His next project is to clean out the right-hand garage to park it in.

Hamster Stan

from our correspondent in Long Beach:

Hamster Stan is in jeopardy, Dan the Weiner Dog has been shooting daggers at him from his beady black eyeballs from a shelf across from the cage. Dan the Weiner Dog feels like he is some kind of badass and is itching for a fight.

Updates as they arrive…